reflections on a Christian life

That was the title of the Francis Schaeffer book that had just hit the shelves with accompanying 13 week study guides and, for those who were introducing cutting edge technology: VHS tapes featuring Francis himself wandering through St. Peters.  I was sitting in the discussion group across the circle from a Bible college student I was trying to impress and arguing that Schaeffer may have a few nits to pick with Aquinas but was no match for the man’s genius.   Welcome to adult Sunday School:  There are no grades or required reading and the hierarchy of expertise is in descending order: the guy on the tape, then the teacher, then anyone else who wants to talk.  If you are lucky, there are folks who will tactfully steer the discussion toward requiring some Biblical basis for the claims being asserted.

I was between college and grad school, working as a junior alchemist and paying discounted rent at my folks new home.  My uncle was an elder at my new church, which was helpful, as he had to run interference for me a few times when my name came up in their meetings.   We had a college and career group that would meet on Sunday evenings that we all took turns leading.  Once in a while we’d end up in a box, like the time we were discussing the necessity of salvation and a girl refused to give up her position that God wouldn’t let people go to hell but she couldn’t identify any scripture on which to build her case.  Sometimes we wandered into the flake, like when a guy started out in Ecclesiastes and wanted to segue to the contemplation of life on other planets.

The Bible college student (and Christian bookstore girl), who I would eventually marry, had given me a CS Lewis book, Letters to Malcolm, Chiefly Concerning Prayer– since I was having trouble connecting my experience with the stories others would relate.  I was going through life making decisions about jobs, school, relationships without any “calling” or deep conviction that I was doing exactly the thing God wanted for me.  It was some reassurance that I had a prof in College who described God’s will as a dune buggy ride rather than a railroad track- but it would be nice to be driving the dune buggy during the day or at least with the headlights on.

One of the more frustrating situations, was a young adult Sunday School class on a pop book called “The Christian Employee”.  I couldn’t easily skip the class since the group was small and I was pretty outspoken.  It as taught by a godly, successful, corporate middle manager, about the age of my parents.  He shared experiences of how early in his marriage, he bought his wife a piano that he couldn’t afford but was able to pay it off as his career advanced and how once he had a terrible boss who was temporarily transferred out of his department.  During the time the boss was away, everyone got raises.  I mean, it was all wonderful that this happened for him, but how was I supposed to reconcile that with the missionary who just got shot and killed leaving his wife and two children behind?

I think sometimes we get caught up in some Old Testament model of Patriarchal blessing- Abraham with his flocks and armies, David with his conquests and power.  Sometimes we mash secular success with spiritual success- if you’re a Christian athlete, you’re the captain and leading your team to the championship, if you are a Christian businessman, you are fast tracking your way to the corner office and financial independence- any setbacks are temporary and make your later success that much sweeter and your testimony that much more inspirational.

I’m not buying it…I don’t think being a Christian Employee means that we get anything in return.  Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t.   Even if the percentages are in favor of material rewards and recognition for being a good employee, should we take comfort in the percentages?   The hard truth is that we are in a spiritual battle and we are sustained in this life by Christ himself.  He has declared that HE is sufficient for us.  Those things we cherish in life – our possessions, recognition, health and happiness, reward for achievement or loyal service, easily prove to be distractions which deceive us in to thinking that they are necessary and deserved.

Yes, I still want success; I want recognition; I want a comfortable life- but if I make that my goal, I’m shoving Christ to the side and if I let others think “God will do this for you too”, I’m feeding them an inferior hope.